Quarterbacks It only makes sense to start our fantasizing at the seductive quarterback position. These rich studs have the lethal combination of power, money and looks. The other players jump at the quarterback’s command as he heroically leads them down the field with his big, strong arm. And for those gals who are turned on by intelligent men, you can’t be a dummy if you want to make it in this position. We chicks will let you in on the top-rated stars of our fantasies, but we’ll also give you an added bonus. We’ll give you a head’s up on a couple of those sneaky guys lurking in the background that are primed to step up to the plate and let their presence be felt. Some people call them “sleepers”, but we call them “sneaky scoring machines” – they are the less flashy dudes that may not look too tantalizing but are just waiting to bang away at their unsuspecting opponents.
Quarterback Studs 1) Kurt Warner: Oh, how we drooled over this lusty man 2 years ago when he catapulted into our hearts! We may have strayed in our affections last season when Kurt was unable to service our scoring needs. However, we chicks are willing to give this stud another chance – we’re predicting lots of bangs for our fantasy bucks!
2) Peyton Manning: Young Manning sure has bloomed into a productive scoring machine. He may not be as dreamy as Kurt, but he certainly is as close to “the sure thing” as you can get. This boy does not take “no” for an answer.
3) Jeff Garcia: San Fran boys certainly do know how to use their guns! It may be premature to utter Garcia in the same breathe as Montana and Young, but we chicks have never used restraint when it comes to jumping the gun (or jumping the gunslingers!). We chicks are predicting that a healthy Garrison Hearst will make this able-bodied quarterback even tougher to thwart.
4) Daunte Culpepper: Nobody scored more than this beefy boy last season. His scoring escapades may be a bit tougher without his mate Robert Smith to soften defenses, but don’t worry about this fella – he’s got some loyal scoring partners in Randy and Chris who find it nearly impossible to refuse his passes.
5) Donovan McNabb: Philly’s new hero doesn’t have a lot of superstar buddies to hook up with, but it doesn’t seem to hinder this Adonis. Like every red-blooded man, if Donovan can’t find a willing partner, he’ll just take matters into his own hands and get the job done himself.
6) Brian Griese: With gluttonous receivers like the bulging Ed McCaffrey and speedy Rod Smith, there’s no way this cutie’s cravings will go unfulfilled.
7) Rich Gannon: We chicks have long been suckers for Gannon’s potent cannon!
8) Brett Favre: Our spies tell us that Brett has been whipping his gun around like a teenager again. We chicks will be the happiest girls on the planet if the playful Favre can revert to his frisky ways. After all, no man scores with more spunk than our Brett.
9) Trent Green: This looker is way too hot to be riding the pine. With his Dick to guide him again, Trent will be hungry to make up for lost time.
10) Elvis Grbac: Though Elvis has never rocked our worlds, we’d be fools if we ignored the titillating numbers he put up last season. With Jamal out of the picture, Elvis will have no choice but to find another way to bang it in. We chicks can think of a couple sexy tight ends that may be eager to score with him!
The Sneaky Scoring Machines Mark Brunell: There was a day when this Jag was a highly touted gigolo. But then Mark lost his swagger and frustrated the hell out of us when he was unable to perform to expectation. Though Mark has let us down, we still are keeping our roving eyes on him. With Freddie Taylor to detract the defenders’ attention and Jimmy Smith and Keenan McCardell to accept his advances, there’s reason to believe this boy’s flaccid gun can be revived.
Vinny Testaverde: This Italian beefcake certainly has the sizzling looks to make any stud list, but he too has fallen short the last couple of seasons. He recently took a hit when hot-shot rookie Santana Moss went down for 12 weeks. However, this year Vinny has cut out the junk food and is in mouth-watering form. He also has the backing of Coach Edwards and any chick can tell you that the love and support of a good man can make a world of difference.
Running Backs
The most brawny bods in the business belong to the running backs. Their muscle-packed legs pave the way as they grind it out on the ground. The top running backs can score with regularity. It may not be as exciting as doing it in the air, but sometimes you just need a man who can get the job done.
Running Back Studs:
1) Marshall Faulk: The exciting thing about this Ram is that he can do it equally well on land and in air. When it comes to putting out, this boy owns the records. We chicks are panting in anticipation already!
2) Edgerrin James: We girls can’t get enough of this hot to trot Colt. Though he irked us in the pre-season when he wouldn’t return Peyton’s calls, we chicks are willing to forgive and forget. As long as Edgerrin keeps pumping out the scores, he’ll never hear us chicks complain.
3) Freddie Taylor: When healthy, Freddie is the most intoxicating runner in the game. It may be a big “if”, but we chicks are willing to take the chance. After all, no man is immune from going limp.
4) Eddie George: This titanic back has a body to die for. His big, graceful legs send shivers up our spine as he surges effortlessly through every hole in sight.
5) Corey Dillon: Suddenly Corey is happy in Cincinnati – we wonder if the money could have anything to do with it. We usually fear slides after big, juicy contracts are sealed, but maybe Corey will be motivated to prove that he was worth shelling out the dough for.
6) Stephen Davis: Schottenheimer has always enjoyed grinding it out on the ground, which is good news for fantasy owners. With George’s potent gun in question, we chicks are turning to Stephen to fulfill our scoring needs.
7) Curtis Martin: Despite his yummy looks, this boy has never really turned us on when he steps on the field. His yards per carry average is certainly not at super-stud level. However, he is always called upon to be the workhorse and that translates into beefy totals.
8) Warrick Dunn: We chicks were always huge fans of the sightly Mike Alstott, but even we got frustrated with his fumbling fingers. Warrick will be the go-to man this season in Tampa Bay. And with the Big Johnson at the helm, the running game should loosen up a bit.
9) James Stewart: This beefy back proved he can be a super-stud once he was able to escape from Freddie’s shadow in Jacksonville. Last season he got even hotter as the season progressed – a man with Stewart’s endurance is a catch worth grabbing ahold of!
10) Ricky Williams: This sexy Saint was rocking our worlds until he went down last season. We chicks are not scared off by the signing of rookie Deuce McAllister. If anything, Deuce’s presence will only motivate Ricky to step up his game – and that could be a scary thing for opponents!
11) Ahman Green: We must admit this pick scared us as we anticipate he’ll share his balls with Dorsey. However, we chicks couldn’t resist Ahman after last season’s breakthrough performance. And now that Dorsey is out for a few week, Green will have more time to get into his groove and prove he’s the man.
12) Lamar Smith: Though he only recently emerged as a top back, this Dolphin is already starting to age. Although he doesn’t tend to bang out huge games, this Miami lad consistently puts up the yardage and manages to thrust himself in for the score.
The Sneaky Scoring Machines:
Jamal Anderson: What a difference a few years makes! 1998’s hero has certainly taken a back seat in many of our fantasies. However, now that Jamal has had an additional year to strengthen his knee, we chicks don’t see him going limp any time soon. This dirty bird still has a little more flight in him!
Priest Holmes: We chicks have had our eyes on this stud ever since we saw him posing in the pages of “Muscle and Fitness” a couple years ago. He may not have always backed up his ripped bod with muscle-packed play, but we chicks think that this may be his year. Despite recent grumblings to the contrary, we believe Priest will be the main man in K.C., where Dick Vermeil brings his high-octane offense. Holmes is certainly no Marshall Faulk, but if he can be half as productive as Marshall, he’ll be kicking some major butt!
Wide Receivers
Although all other positions take a back seat to the quarterbacks, the wide receivers certainly are no slouches. With their fast moves and smooth hands, the top receivers add quite a bit of zest to our steamy dreams. The top receivers never have a problem scoring on a regular basis – on the field or in our fantasies!
Wide Receiver Studs:
1) Randy Moss: Like Daryl Hall and John Oates, Randy and Daunte will be making beautiful music together for years to come (OK, so we have dorky musical taste!). Chris Carter can’t defy his age forever, which means that Daunte will be relying on Randy even more than last year.
2) Terrell Owens: This devilish receiver sure is a sassy one! But we chicks have always had an affinity for the naughty boys. And we must admit, he can turn up the heat when he has the urge!
3) Marvin Harrison: His nickname is “the Big Dog” but in Chickland we refer to him as “The Big Hog” - the “big ball hog” that is. Last season the greedy receiver snatched Peyton’s balls left and right as his smitten quarterback shamelessly threw himself at Marvin. Peyton may claim that he’s going to spread out his bullets this season, but we chicks realize that no man can refuse an easy score.
4) Isaac Bruce: The Rams’ offense may be packed with talent, but Isaac will have no problem rising to the top. Warner has always had a penchant for this virile receiver and will certainly shower him with his beautiful balls.
5) Rod Smith: His mate Ed McCaffrey may wear the skin-tight spandex to show off his bulging muscles, but it’s Rod’s blazing speed that really turns us on. We usually shy away from teams that have two top receivers, but that shouldn’t be a problem with Griese at the helm. He has enough juice in his gun to satisfy both needy men.
6) Jimmy Smith: Many fantasy forecasters are staying clear of this strapping Jag due to his off-season abdomen surgery. But it will take more than an ailing belly to keep us from fantasizing over this lusty catch. With a healthy Freddie Taylor to distract the defenders, there’s no limit to this boy’s potential.
7) Eric Moulds: This boy sure knows how to go deep! His physical attributes would make him a top 4 pick if Flutie were still in town. But unfortunately, he needs to depend on the fragile “Bandanna Boy” to stay healthy.
8) Derrick Alexander: This seasoned Chief finally stepped up to super-stud status last season. Now with a tantalizing scoring partner in Trent Green, there should be no end to the scoring opportunities!
9) Chris Carter: He may be aging, but he’s not ready to give up the score. Carter’s magical hands and breath-taking body control make us tingle all over with excitement!
10) Joe Horn: This Horny receiver just can’t get enough action! But after last year’s explosive performance, does he still have the goods to keep it up? We chicks are predicting he wasn’t a one blast hero.
Sneaky Scoring Machines:
Rob Moore: Jake the Snake’s favorite scoring partner is back and ready to reclaim his leading man status. The Cardinals may suck and Jake has certainly struggled, but maybe a healthy Rob is just what the doctor ordered.
James Thrash: This brawny Eagle has blazing speed and just loves to get physical. But more importantly, he’s McNabb’s go-to dude on a team that wants to step up the passing game. Sounds like a formula for jacked-up stats to us!
Antonio Freeman: A happy, healthy Favre should mean a lot of action for Antonio. With Favre back to his perky self, there’s no reason that this receiver’s needs should go unfulfilled.
Tight Ends
Let’s make no mistake: We chicks have always appreciated a fine tight end. But as pleasing on the eyes as these studs may be, they never manage to get much action. It’s probably because they waste so much time helping their buddies, such as the running backs, score. We’ll give you several studly tight ends to check out, but every other tight end you can pretty much consider a dud. Our advice would be if you can’t get one of these top hotties, don’t bother picking one up until the very late rounds.
Tight End Studs:
1) Tony Gonzalez: This strapping tight end certainly would have made our list based on his beauty alone. But Tony backs up his smoldering looks with even hotter play. It just doesn’t get any better than this!
2) Shannon Sharpe:
We must admit that we chicks have spent more time ogling Shannon’s backup Todd Heap, however we know that Sharpe still is the main man in Baltimore. Elvis always showed an affinity for tight ends in K.C. (who could blame him when he had Tony to share his balls with!). With Jamal Lewis down and out, the focus on the short passing game should only increase.
3) Freddie Jones: Though he may not be in the same league as Tony and Shannon, there is reason to believe that heady Freddie can put up some high-octane numbers this season. Jones managed to snag over 70 catches last season – and that was without a quarterback. With cutie Flutie at the helm, Freddie is sure to have a lot more fun.
